Postcards from Asgard Episode 5: Earthers Always Lie

Episode 1: Dan’s Story

Episode 2: Yuri’s Story

Episode 3: How the Portals Killed all Nations

Episode 4: A Slave Will Eventually Retire


[It didn’t take long for word to spread that I was looking for stories. Somehow, I had gained the title of journalist, a journalist from Earth no less, a connotation that came with considerable baggage, though I didn’t know it at the time. A man named William came to me, describing himself as an unofficial historian of Mars and Asgard. He sought me out during my shift, demanding that I meet him after work so that he could, as he said, “set history straight”. He claimed that, without knowing the history accurately, all my stories would be tainted by unconscious Earther bias.

We sat down behind the building after my shift to discuss and share a few beers. I told him that my main goal was to report what people said, no more, no less. If there was bias in anything I wrote, then it was from the bias of the people I talked to. I wasn’t about to act like a filter for my own agenda. At that, he seemed to change his tone for the better.]

Good, because here on Asgard, we have a rule of thumb when it comes to Earthers: Earthers always lie. That doesn’t literally mean all people from Earth lie. What I mean is, people who make Earth part of their identity, they lie. Calling themselves progressives or liberals isn’t enough. They want to distance themselves from us as far as possible, and since they don’t really come from counters anymore they call themselves Earthers with a capital E, as if they’re better than all us outside the solar system.

The schools make ‘em that way. The history they teach, about Mars and Asgard, it’s all written to make Earth look like the good guys and us like dumb rednecks. They’ve studied us, psychoanalyzed us, but it’s always in a bad light. According to them, we want to expand into the galaxy because of womb envy, or because we have little dicks. We’re compensating for something, or something like that. Like I said: Earthers always lie.

The actual history is nothing like what they say. First of all, what were you taught in school about Martian colonization?

I was told that a group of radical Christians blew up the portal between Earth and Mars after going through.

And why is that?

To get away from Earth.

Well, obviously, but why that?

I… don’t really know.

Right, well, they weren’t radical, and not all of them were Christians. They left because of what the portals did to their home planet. They basically changed everything. Changed society. Changed politics. Sure as hell changed the economy.

Portals flattened the Earth, so to speak, economically. Equalized the field, so that we all got the same standard of living, because if you can move goods and people anywhere, then you’re essentially living there, and when you split the difference between the first and third world, you get just a half-shitty world.

Things are cheap, great, but you also have criminals stealing those things, so it’s mostly a wash. Most people in the developed countries didn’t like that their jobs went to third-worlders just so they could buy cheap, third-world crap, but a few bleeding hearts thought it was great for the poor, and the bleeding hearts made policy, so, whatever. All the guys at the top loved it too, made a bunch of excuses for themselves, said they could improve living conditions. Better living through economics, but that was all just a cover for them to make billons.

Hayes made a fortune building nuclear power plants in Antarctica. The farming conglomerate made farms and portals wherever you could. Low tier jobs went to developing districts so you could pay ‘em less; high tier jobs in engineering got taken up by insiders. Most people, us in the middle, we couldn’t make it in that environment, but nothing changed no matter how much we voted and protested. There was too much money to be made and no politician willing to listen. That’s why Maynard’s group went to Mars. It wasn’t zealotry or bigotry. They had nowhere else to go.

Who is ‘Maynard’?

That’s Earth for you. He’s our founder, but most of you don’t know who the hell he is. Charles Maynard was the physicist who designed the first portals, and I don’t care what you say about him borrowing designs, or if you say it was a collaboration. That’s all to give some people credit where credit ain’t due. The portals wouldn’t exist without Maynard, so that makes them his portals. The man was a genius, and I don’t care what anyone says about that.

Anyways, he made trillions off the invention, but, unlike the other rich folks in their private islands, Maynard actually cared about people, and not just the lowest of the low, but all in between. According to his biographer, that was why he designed the portals in the first place: to help make the world a better place.

He came up with the idea to go to Mars since I guess he thought Earth was hopeless. You can’t undo the portals. Can’t roll-back progress.

So, he sold his assets, his private island in the Philippines, and bet everything on his space venture. He bought up a few old boats from when they made the Aurora space station and the portal rings. He packed them with enough food and water and other supplies to last the colonists a few years. Then, he chartered all the flights to Mars for the 26th anniversary of the first settlement, put all his friends and allies on ’em, and, when they were all through, he blew up the Earth-side portal. That way Earth couldn’t reach them for a good, long while, up until the 60 Days War.

Now, just wondering, what do the Earth schools say about that?

This was what I was told: after a few years on Mars, the Martian colonists ran out of resources and decided to… basically hold Earth hostage.

Okay, that’s completely false. It’s true that living on Mars was hard. They had to dig deep into the ground to avoid the radiation. They had to take apart all their ships just for basic building materials. It was hard living for a while, but the Martians pulled-through.

Dr. Maynard kept working on portal technology so that each city could be connected, even when underground. They retrofitted some of the shuttles and put portals on ‘em, sent them out to mine the asteroid belt. That gave Mars access to precious metals and other resources. Once they got to Jupiter and could mine some H3, the probes went even further.

Now, all this time, Earth didn’t give a shit about Mars. The colonists blew up the portal and Earth wrote off the whole thing. They taught you kids that the colonists were extremists, and they probably wouldn’t last long, right? Right.

But when Earth saw what was going on in the belt and outer planets, they wanted to stop it. The Earthers’ massive egos made them think that they were supposed to be the center of the human race, the caretaker of the species. They thought they had the responsibility to oversee human expansion. Bunch of manifest destiny crap. Trying to claim what they didn’t earn.

The truth was, the elites on Earth were pissed that a few thousand people on a desolate rock could do more than millions employed in the Federation’s space administration. Maynard solved problems they couldn’t. Mars put a flag on Europa before Earth could. No fiction could have predicted it. So Earth was going to change that.

The Federation of Nations on Earth signed a treaty that all human peoples would be under their jurisdiction, never mind where they lived in the universe. They said it was all to ensure “basic human rights”. Yeah, sure. It was that and not for total control of the species. Earthers always lie.

They didn’t just make a nation state, but a genetic one. That meant Mars was under their rule, according to them at least. Obviously, the Martians disagreed. When Earth built a new portal to Mars, the Martians jammed it. When spacecraft from Earth took the long way, Mars just sent them back. This created tensions, tensions made conflict, and one day Earth just up and declared war on Mars.

Now, if you were to take bets as to who would win, most rational people would put money on Earth. For every one Martian, there were at least one million people on Earth, and that’s no exaggeration. Earth had nukes and enough resources to keep making them for a good, long time. Hell, if Earth could even blow up Earth, then surely it could blow up a few cities on Mars, right?

Except Mars had a few choice advantages. One: Mars was uphill, so to speak, because Mars has lower gravity. A lot lower. Two: Mars could do things with portals that Earth couldn’t do, and still can’t do. And three: Mars had access not only to the asteroid belt and Jupiter, but by then Saturn’s rings, meaning it had a near endless supply of artillery shells.

To send a nuke from Earth to Mars, assuming they were at their closest, cost at least a billion dollars. To send a rock through one end of a portal at Saturn to the other at a probe secretly orbiting Earth took just a few dollars. And you’d think, yeah well Earth could just shoot them down. Except Mars had H3 rockets and Earth was still using solid state, so yeah, Earth had more resources but Mars had critical advantages which gave them enough leverage to put up a fight.

But the powers of Earth either didn’t realize it or they just didn’t care. Being on Earth does have the tendency to give you a false sense of security. When Earth and Mars were approaching their closest point, Earth sent a volley of ships and nuclear rockets at ‘em, knowing they had about 60 Days to pacify the Martians before the planets moved too far to make the war possible.

Now, that salvo had to follow the laws of physics. They couldn’t get there instantly, not like in the movies. So the Martians had at least a few weeks to prepare. Mars brought in their drones from the asteroid field and placed them in the path of Earth’s fleet. When the fleet got close enough, out of nowhere, they met a cluster of rocks portaled in from Saturn’s rings. The ships that didn’t see it or couldn’t dodge in time were destroyed instantly. The nuclear rockets within the fleet were piloted by software, so they avoided the rocks, but it caused them to divert off-course and use up their fuel. Most of the rockets just simply shut down in space because the software calculated it’d be impossible to reach Mars at that point, which just goes to show you that you don’t always need to meet force with force.

Now, a few rockets got by. Couldn’t be helped. They hit Mars, nuked a city or two, but, again, Mars had time to fortify. Their cities were already far underground to begin with. So when the nukes hit, there were a few quakes and tunnel collapses, but nobody died. That left Earth at about two-thousand causalities to Mars’ zero. Earth spent a few billion while Mars spent essentially nothing.

After that, Mars went on the offensive. They sent portal drones to Earth, a few to Saturn, and began to rain down some rocks. Big ones. At first, they targeted Earth’s remaining deserts, the Gobi, Sahara, the Mojave, places where people wouldn’t be. Earth shot a few down, but each missile was a few million dollars and each rock was free, so it was only a matter of time before some got through.

The bombardment wasn’t meant to destroy Earth, like some Earth historians will tell you. It was only meant to send a message that Mars was to be taken seriously, but of course Earth didn’t listen. They planned another campaign toward the end of the 60 days for a decisive victory. If it wasn’t achieved by then, then they’d come back in two years with a bigger fleet.

The Martian leaders weren’t having it. They may have doubted it at first, but then they figured they could make Earth capitulate. In actuality, it only took one rock. When Mars sent a meteor into the Indian Ocean and caused a tidal wave that wiped out a few cities on the coasts, Earth surrendered. They just needed to scare the Earthers a bit. You know, deter them from fighting a bloody war.

Now, Earthers don’t see it that way. They thought Martians were deranged. Extremists. Psychotic killers. In reality though, Mars could have done a lot worse. They could have destroyed every city. They could have blasted Earth back to the stone age, so long as Saturn had enough rocks to do so. But they chose not to, because, ironically enough, Mars, the planet of war, just wanted to be left alone. I don’t know about you, but I think Mars chose the better outcome to level a few huts so that billions wouldn’t die.

I know Earth historians say different. I know they say that the powers of Earth gave up on Mars because they thought Mars was too radical to negotiate or integrate. All your history books say so. But actually, Earth gave up because they knew they couldn’t win. They’d never admit it, publically at least, but they knew better than to tangle with Mars. Like I said: Earthers always lie.

Mars went on to colonize a few of the outer planets while Earth continued to stagnate. Eventually, Martian scientists figured out a way to turn portals inside out and bend the laws of physics. I dunno, that’s just the way they describe it. Mars, not Earth, found planet Asgard, and it was the Martian flag, not Earth’s, that was first planted on this rock. Obviously, they don’t particularly like being cut out of the T2 worlds, but that’s the way it goes when you don’t have the drive to do it. Most Earthers don’t leave Earth. Most don’t even know where out here, living on Asgard.

Why don’t you think Earth has that drive to expand?

My thought is that they’re just too comfy. Space is hard living, and when you have VR porn and all the food you can eat it kind puts people off from doing the hard stuff. Earthers won’t admit it, but that’s probably the case. Earthers themselves say they have a higher moral imperative to take care of the poor, and the environment, give a good standard of living to every human being before they head out to the stars, but that’s just an excuse. After their defeat by a handful of Martians, I guess they figured they’d stay in their little, blue safe-space.


One thought on “Postcards from Asgard Episode 5: Earthers Always Lie

  1. Are Prostitutes Better Than Normal Women?
    A Short Essay by John Doe

    Is it cheaper to have sex with normal women than with prostitutes? No, and here is why.

    When you have sex with a normal girl, it’s by no means “free”. You have to take her out to dinner, buy her drinks, and you might have to go on two or even three dates before you will have sex with her. If you add up the total costs of these three dates, it would be approxiately around 400 dollars.

    Now let’s look at the cost of the average high quality prostitute. You can bang a prostitute for 2 hours for 250 dollars.

    What are the benefits of using prostitutes instead of dating normal women?

    1. The average prostitute is far hotter than the average normal woman you can date.
    2. YOU get to do the choosing, and the power of choice is in YOUR hands, instead of in the woman’s hands
    3. With a prostitute, you have sex with her and that’s it. No emotional drama, no mind games, no bullshit, like there is with normal women.
    4. You don’t have to waste hours of your valuable time that you could otherwise spend on making money, taking women out on dates or trying to pick up women in bars and clubs. No, instead you pay a prostitute for one or two hours of her time, have sex with her, and leave.
    5. You choose WHEN you want to have sex. So let’s say you’re a busy businessman, instead of wasting 5 hours at a bar or on a date, instead you’d spend only one or two hours with a prostitute, and that at your convience too. YOU are the one who chooses WHEN, and so you save a LOT of time.
    6. Prostites are DEFINITELY cheaper than getting married. Overall, through a 10 year marriage and divorce, you’d end up spending at least 250,000 dollars. Now let’s take that number and divide it by 250 dollars, which is the average price of a high quality prostitute in a Western country. That is sex with 1000 different high quality prostitutes. Now if you talk to any married man, who is HONEST, he will admit that sex with the wife after the first 6 months or year starts to get boring. And this is why people in long term relationships barely have sex, because it’s BORING having sex with the same person time after time. Variety is the spice of life! You could have sex with 1000 different women for the same price it would cost to marry one woman and have sex with her. And considering how unstable most western women are nowadays, the chance of divorce is around 60%, with the woman initiating the divorce 90% of the time. You are likely to lose at least 50% of your assets and savings in a divorce, and so marriage to a western woman may end up costing you up to 500,000 dollars or even a million dollars, once you add in the divorce costs and long term child payment and alimony costs.

    So let’s take that number, one million dollars, and divide it by 250. That’s 4000 DIFFERENT women you could pay to have sex with, instead of marrying one woman who will just end up turning into a bitch and divorcing you anyway. So it’s your choice guys. Would you rather marry one woman, who will get bored of sex after 6 months, and end up stealing all your assets and savings in divorce, or would you rather have sex with 4000 different beautiful women for the same price?

    Another very relevant point is that the world of modern dating has become quite risky. Most women see nothing wrong with making a false rape accusation against a man. Most rape cases are fake and are done out of a motive of REVENGE by the woman. Did you break up with your girlfriend? Watch out, she might make a false rape accusation against you just to get revenge. Did you cheat on your girl with another girl? Watch out, she might make a false rape accusation just to get revenge on you. Forgot to tell your girlfriend “happy birthday”? Watch out, she might make a false rape accusation against you in order to get revenge on you. At least 90% of rape cases are FALSE, the sex was CONSENSUAL and the woman later changed her mind AFTER the act and decided “oh it was rape”. LOL. And this is why the police no longer take rape cases seriously, because literally 90% of women who claim to have been raped are LYING!

    So that is another HUGE benefit of prostitues. A prostitute won’t make a false rape accusation against you.

    What’s another GREAT reason that men choose to use prostitutes? Because by paying for sex, they can have sex with a MUCH hotter quality of woman than they would normally. For example, if we rate women on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of beauty. The average guy will be able to pick up and have sex with a 4 or a 5 from a bar, a club, or Tinder. Meanwhile, if the same man paid for sex with a high quality prostitute for $250 dollars (about the same amount of money he would spend picking up a 4 or 5 from a bar, club, or Tinder), the prostitute he would have sex with would be an 8 or 9 on the beauty scale. So for the same amount of money, he can have sex with a much hotter woman, and with much less effort too. Think about all the effort you have to put in to go to a bar or club. You have to buy good clothes, you have to spend lots of money on drinks and food, and also have to spend a lot of money on making sure your apartment is cool and stylish so the girl will feel comfortable there. So unless you’re a man who was blessed with the looks of Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise and have women chasing after you, the easiest and cheapest option for most men to have sex with the hottest quality of women is to simply PAY for sex with a hot prostitute. One guy was asked why he paid to have sex with prostitutes and his reply was “If I’m being brutally honest, the hottest women I’ve ever had sex with have been prostitutes … I would never be able to have sex with women who are ridiculously hot unless they were prostitutes.” I can also personally testify to this point. The types of chicks I was getting from Tinder were mostly fat or at best mildly hot, I would have rated them between a 3 and a 6 on the attraction scale. Then the first time I went to a prostitute, I was blown away with the options and the QUALITY too. Here were super hot girls who I could bang for such a cheap price. Needless to say, I gave up on dating and ONLY bang prostitutes now. I’m a much happier and peaceful person as a result.

    Another couple of reasons that men gave as to why they choose to have sex with prostitutes are:

    “Getting a prostitute is so easy: no strings attached, you can choose the woman you want before you purchase, then they arrive at your door. Couldn’t be easier.”

    I can also testify to this. Getting a normal girl to have sex is a real pain in the ass and involves so much struggle, drama, and mind games. Then of course after you have sex with her, you have to deal with her stalking you, calling you so many times, and with her unrealistic expectation that you are going to have a committed and exclusively relationship with her. All that compared with the EASE of banging a hot prostitute, and the choice is simple. I chose to not waste time trying to date women anymore and only bang hot prostitutes now.

    “We want to have sex without all the bullshit of pretending to be really interested in a girl. When you pay for sex, you don’t have to swap numbers at the end when you know you won’t call. You pay, have sex, she leaves. Everyone’s happy.”

    This goes along with the above point. With normal women and dating, you have to PRETEND to care about her and PRETEND to be interested in her, when in reality all you want is to have sex with her. With a prostitute, there is no pretensions and that really is a beautiful thing because ultimately then sex becomes about the raw physical act as well as the pure attractiveness of the woman, and thus you are able to enjoy sex a lot more.

    Lastly, let’s touch on the issue of legalization. On average surveys, 70 percent of men said they would vote to legalize prostitution, meanwhile 60 percent of women said they would vote to keep prostitution illegal. Now it’s pretty obvious why women want to keep prostitution illegal. Women use sex as a weapon to control men. So it would disrupt the economics of women’s control over sex if prostitution was legalized, because then MEN would have control over WHO they want to have sex with and WHEN. Forget all those arguments about morality, the REAL reason women want to keep prostitution illegal is so that they can CONTINUE to control men with sex. In effect, women are like a mafia that is desperate to keep control of the sexual marketplace. If prostitution was legal, men would be a lot less inclined to put up with women’s bullshit just to get sex from them, when they can go pay for sex from a much more attractive woman and without all the hassles and drama that dating and normal women bring.

    What about STDs some of you might say? Well the whole STD scare is mostly a MYTH that has been blown way out of proportion by feminists and conservative religious leaders in order to scare men away from having sex. In reality, the rate of transmission of AIDS is 1 out of 700 during heterosexual sex. That is, if a man had penis to vagina intercourse with an AIDS-infected woman, it would take 700 times on average before he would contract it. The only way people get AIDS is through using needles to inject drugs, or having anal sex, especially with homosexuals. So the whole AIDS thing is a huge scare, a MYTH, that has been blown way out of proportion.

    What about Herpes? Well studies show that 80% of the US population already has Herpes in one of it’s forms, so that is not really an issue.

    The only other STD that you would have to worry about is Chlamydia, and it can be easily cured within 3 days with antibiotics.

    Now, that is UNPROTECTED sex. If you are using condoms to have sex with, then the chances of getting any of these STDs becomes less than zero. And that includes oral sex as well. Most prostitutes will insist that you always use a condom, even during oral sex. So as long as you are using condoms, then STDs are nothing you should even remotely worry about.

    So what are some of the main reasons why prostitution should be legalized?

    1. If prostitution was legal, it would reduce the STD transmission rate by about 50% amongst prostitutes.

    2. If prostitution was legal, it would reduce rape by at least 150%.
    Many studies have shown that legal prostitution reduces rape, sexual assault, and other sex crimes by a lot. The same studies have shown that legal prostitution reduces the STD rate amongst the general population by about 50%.

    3. The real number of human trafficking victims in the prostitution industry is actually less than 5%. But if prostitution was fully legal, the tiny number of women who are forced into prostitution involuntarily would be able to go to the poliec to get help and escape from their pimps. Keeping prostitution illegal hurts prostitutes the most, so it’s funny how feminists want to keep prostitution illegal and yet at the same time claim they care about women’s health and women’s rights. Feminism is nothing but the biggest pile of bullshit hypocrisy the world has ever seen.

    4. Feminists say “my body, my choice”. So if 95% of prostitutes are VOLUNTARILY engaging in prostitution, then why should those women have the RIGHT to choose what to do with their own bodies, even if that includes trading sex for money? What right does the government or anyone else have to tell two consenting adults that they cannot exchange money for sex?

    5. It would save a lot of money and resources from our police and government. Tens of millions of dollars a year are wasted by our police and government arresting and putting prostitutes in jail. If prostitution was LEGAL, on the other hand, and taxed and regulated, it would bring in tens if not hundreds of millions of dollars a year in tax revenue for our government, as well as freeing up valuable police time for REAL crimes like rape, theft, murder, assault, etc.

    6. If prostitution was legal, prostitutes would have legal rights and would not longer get taken advantage of by pimps and other shady figures, including corrupt police officers. Yes, the police also contribute to the oppression of prostitutes because there are many corrupt police officers out there who blackmail and extort prostitutes for money and/or sexual favors. If prostitution was legal, all of this would end and prostitutes would finally have legal rights.

    7. Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession. It is NEVER going to stop no matter how much the police or government tries to stop it. There are ALWAYS going to be men who are willing to pay money for sex, and there are ALWAYS going to be women who are willing to give sex to men for money. Prostitution has also been an integral part of many cultures and thus trying to stop it is literally impossible. And why should it be stopped? No one has the right to tell two consenting adults that they cannot exchange money for sex. So rather than waste time trying to stop it, just legalize it and tax it, the same way we do with cigarettes, alcohol, and now marijuana.

    All in all, I believe in personal freedom. I believe that no one has the right to force their own sense of morality onto others. In some very ancient cultures, prostitutes were actually given very high status in society and considered as spiritual people who could heal men of their problems through sex. That was thousands of years ago though, before self-righteous modern western religions were invented and started violently forcing their concepts of morality onto people. Funny how societies that were thousands of years old were actually far more advanced than we are in the modern age in terms of sex and prostitutes.

    It took almost a century for people to wake up and legalize marijuana, which is a completely harmless natural plant that hurts no one. In the same way, society and people in general have to EVOLVE and realize that they have no right to force their own sense of morality or control onto others. The modern society is actually a very sexually restrictive society, compared to cultures and civilizations of the past. And it’s this sexual restrictiveness which contributes to so much psychological neurosis, sex crimes, and frustration in general. Is it a coincidence how people in America are so quick to anger and lose their temper, whereas in a place like Thailand where prostitution is legal and accepted, people are very laid back and cool headed? People need to stop seeing sex as such a big thing, and just realize that sex is a normal and acceptable part of life.

    With that said, I believe that I have covered all the points as to why prostitution should be legal and an accepted part of society, and so this essay comes to a close. Please feel free to copy, paste, and distribute this essay as my goal is to influence and educate as many people as possible, the only thing I ask is that you do not change it or edit it in any way whatsoever. Thank you very much

    John Doe

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