Don’t Obsess Over the Negative

I don’t usually comment on current events, whether it be events the news or the goings on in our little corner of cyberspace. My focus is on concepts and learning rather than critiquing or exonerating this individual or that individual.


But I can’t help but notice the flak in the air as Danger & Play and Matt Forney have decided walk away from the manosphere. Personally, that’s fine with me. It’s not as if walls have been put up and we cannot view their content, and it’s the content that matters, not an allegiance to some amorphous, abstract internet subculture. The shit that has been uncovered, however, is another thing entirely. This was a long time coming, I think.


At some stage, a critical tipping point happened in the manosphere which changed its direction. There was a paradigm shift, as there have been in the past.


The manosphere started as a place for the Lost Men to congregate and make sense of things. The first shift happened as these men compared notes and noticed patterns, to which they responded with different strategies to cope with their problems. MRA’s fought to change the system. Gamers trained themselves to master the system. MGTOW’s wanted secession from the system. All responded to the same problems with different conclusions. This was the manosphere that I appreciated because it was about moving forward, albeit with different paths for different preferences. No matter what path one chose, it was intended to make the best of things. I respected that, and still do.


However there was a second shift. As manosphere ideas gained traction, they also gained dirt in their treads. Once the manosphere’s popularity grew, it began to attract an influx of people who weren’t interested in aspiring to something greater, despite having all the knowledge right at their fingertips, but instead wanted to used that knowledge to give themselves excuses for their current state. Somewhere along the line, the focus changed from achieving something (a more just system, a more improved man, a man more free to live as he chose) and instead trended toward a pity party.


Now, society isn’t great and women can be a reflection of that system, sometimes, but staring into the abyss also means the abyss stares into you. Focusing solely on the negative will eventually poison your mind with, guess what, negativity. Criticism, nit-picking, even outrage have their place and time, but they should not be end goals, only means to an end. Don’t lose sight of your end: improving your life in whatever manner you think is most effective. The manosphere’s job is to show you the variety of those paths and illuminate the way to get there. Its purpose should not be to roll around in muck.


Leave all the negativity to the social justice activists. You, sir, have greater potential.


The world within the internet is a completely different place than the world outside the internet. I can go out my front door, meet with friends, go to work, and hike the foothills. All the while, the troubles of hypergamy and sophism don’t exist. They’re not even on my mind. The battle in Washington between liberals and “conservatives” might as well take place in another dimension, same goes for the supposed dollar collapse or what the feminists are saying now. They don’t have a place in my mind when I go outside and take in the real world.


Captain Capitalism, the seer as always, beat me to it with his post on The Importance Of Controlling Your Micro-Environment:


“And while Michelle Obama was spending millions of our tax dollars taking her and her daughters on a whirlwind trip to China, there I was talking to Alvin, the proprietor of my favorite fossil and rock shop in South Dakota.  

And while more accusations in North Minneapolis were made about white privilege and economic justice, I was sitting with two of my best friends in Vegas smoking a very smooth and tasty cigar. 

Slowly, but surely, over the course of my 2 week wild-west road trip, this juxtaposition between what I heard on the radio/podcasts versus what my eyes saw and what I was actually experiencing brought forth to my frontal lobes another important epiphany:

The importance of controlling your micro-environment.”


It’s easy to get drawn into the negative, especially when times are tough for you. Trust me, I’ve been there. Eight months ago, I was a pizza delivery guy in a town that had nothing going for it, knowing no one but my girlfriend and our roommates. Now, I’m living just outside of Denver, working more but getting paid more with a job I rather like, one which is mentally stimulating but also keeps me physically strong. I’m fortunate that I’m here, doing what I do. And the first step on that path was changing my mental focus.


Which eventually brought me here:


Estes Park Colorado

Rockey Mountain National Park, Colorado


We all have the tendency to get stuck in ruts, whether they be our environment, our job, or our internet fixation. We know shit sucks, but changing it sucks too, and so we stay in the former because we think the effort to change ourselves and our environment is too great.


But in reality, it isn’t. We just think we’re incapable of it, and focusing on the negative will kill any motivation you might have to change for the better. You cannot climb mountains by only looking down.


The world outside the internet can be a wonderful place, but you have to want to find it. The manosphere can be a great thing, if you don’t lose your focus on enlightenment and improvement. Giving red pill women disproportionate amounts of attention just because they are women saying what you want to hear is unacceptable. Obsessing over feminism the way the ideology obsesses over you is also unacceptable.


Yes, our society and culture sucks. Feminism sucks. Men have been broken down into atomistic individuals without tribes, without identity, without philosophies, or virtues, or brotherhood. So why bring that shit here? For all its faults, the manosphere can still be a good place for improvement.


Every healthy organism attracts parasites. It is therefore the job of the immune system to kill off the parasites, and thus we must police ourselves and keep to high standards. There are going to be frauds and flakes wherever you go in any organization. The manosphere is no different. This kerfuffle is not the destruction of the manosphere, but the system working as it’s supposed to.

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