Confidence is Second to Competence

A lot is made of confidence in the manosphere. There’s no doubt in my mind that confidence is a necessary component of being a great man, but often times people focus on confidence as a primary attribute rather than perhaps something else: a secondary effect. I used to believe that confidence is just an attitude that one can plug into their mental operating system. As I’ve grown up and gotten some real-world experience under my belt, I’ve begun to conceptualize confidence differently. Confidence – trusting your own ability without doubt – is not the source but rather a result of a more fundamental (and much simpler) cause. Simply put, confidence is merely the outward expression of internal competence, and it is competence which grants respect and admiration. To focus on confidence is to admire the smoke but not the fire.


When a woman says they want a man with confidence, they might not know that they are asking for a man with competence, but their instinct knows the tale tell signs. A similar effect takes place when men evaluate each other. They  unconsciously expect a certain degree of trust in one’s own ability, for when working together it is imperative that not only can you trust yourself, but that others can trust you for the same reasons.


In my opinion, faking confidence is not an effective strategy because as soon as the image cracks the illusion is lost. There is nothing concrete to back up claims of confidence if you don’t have the demonstrable skill. To achieve permanent confidence (not the fleeting self-delusion of confidence), one should achieve mastery and experience in a given skill, which then fosters a trust in one’s abilities. Anything else (in my opinion) is putting the cart before the horse.

2 thoughts on “Confidence is Second to Competence

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  2. Pingback: Why You Should Master Something | The Cydonian Signal

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